“A hard truth: that courage can be without meaning or impact, need not be rewarded, or even known. The world has not been made in that way. Perhaps, however, within the self there might come a resonance, the awareness of having done something difficult, of having done . . . something.”

―Guy Gavriel Kay, The Last Light of the Sun

The simple fact of the matter is that no one’s paying attention to you. We look around, self conscious that we’ll be judged for our actions. Or, perhaps even worse, we act merely because we hope to impress others. 

No one cares. This is not said to belittle you or to cast aspersions on our fellow human beings. It is simple reality. We are all busy, all preoccupied with our own lives. Think back to a few days ago, the last time you went out in public. How many strangers did you pass? How much did you notice about them then? Do you remember anything about them now?

Work in an office, where you regularly see the same people? Fine, but just think: How much do you truly take note of what others are wearing, or how they’re performing, or the choices they make? And of what little you do notice in the moment, how much do you recall a day or two later?

The lesson here is that you must act for yourself. Don’t hold back for fear of judgment, or act out simply because you think it will make you “cool.” Almost no one will notice if you do something “embarrassing,” and even fewer people will care if you act only to impress others. As everyone knows: the only person who thinks the guy blasting his car radio is cool is the guy in the car. Don’t be the guy in the car.

Note to readers: Each week, I share a fantasy quote and indulge my inner philosopher with a brief essay based on said quote. Share your favorite quote with me and I might feature it in a future newsletter! Email: dtkane@dtkane.com.

“I’ve met dozens of officers who think their immaculate mustache can move the world.”

― Brian McClellan, The Autumn Republic

If you follow Brian McClellan on Twitter, you might have seen he had a tough week, so I thought I’d throw some love his way and select this week’s quote from one of his books. Brian, hope you get well soon and condolences on your recent loss.

I like this quote because it’s a great example of how fantasy can have multiple layers. On the surface, it’s a funny quip that shows how arrogant these officers are. And if that’s all you want to read it for, that’s fine. Just enjoy the story!

But you can also find a deeper meaning. So often, we fool ourselves about what really matters. If I can just get that new outfit, car, house, whatever, then I’ll be happy! Or, I need to get those things to impress my neighbors, coworkers, friends, whoever.  We chase material possessions and seek to impress others but never stop to consider why we’re doing so.

If the new clothes or car make you feel good and bring value to your life, then great! By all means, get them. I’m not here to tell you what to like or how to spend your money. Just make sure you understand the real reason you’re making a purchase, or flaunting one you’ve already made.

Just as the officers in Brian McClellan’s story look like fools to the objective observer, so too will we feel foolish if the only reason we’ve done something is because societal norms told us we ought to. Or even worse–we did it to impress others we don’t even like. Take a moment to consider the why behind your desires and choose a path that will actually make you happy.

Photo: “Different Times,” by D. T. Kane. Two of D. T. Kane’s favorite timepieces: His Grandfather’s 1950 Omega Automatic and a Nomos Club, a 30th birthday present from Mrs. Kane.

Note to readers: Each week, I share a fantasy quote and indulge my inner philosopher with a brief essay based on said quote. Share your favorite quote with me and I might feature it in a future newsletter! Email: dtkane@dtkane.com.

“It’s a gift if it makes us better. It’s a curse if we let it destroy us.”

― N.K. Jemisin, The Fifth Season

I was listening to the Legendarium podcast this week and their episode on N.K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season, Book 1 in her Broken Earth trilogy. (Incidentally, the Legendarium is an excellent podcast if you like taking deep dives into some of your favorite fantasy novels.) It’s a great book that I’ve read before, so I thought I’d feature a quote from it this week. 

So often, the way a thing makes us feel is dependent on the perspectival lens through which we decide to view it. It’s a Stoic maxim that only you can make yourself upset, or angry, or frustrated, or any other emotion. It isn’t your jerk co-worker, or friend, or spouse, who made you mad, but rather the way you decided to react to that person.

That isn’t to say emotions are bad. It’s only human to experience them. But just as we shouldn’t let children drive the school bus, we shouldn’t let our emotions dictate our mood and reactions.

Instead, embrace the idea that, while a certain statement, or event, or bit of news might initially make you feel a certain way, you don’t have to let it ruin your moment, or hour, or whole day. Instead, take a deep breath and realize you can choose your reaction. Look for the good in all that happens, or at least embrace that you can’t control the acts of others, and as such, choose not to let them control you.

Note to readers: Each week, I share a fantasy quote and indulge my inner philosopher with a brief essay based on said quote. Share your favorite quote with me and I might feature it in a future newsletter! Email: dtkane@dtkane.com.

“He found himself wondering at times, especially in the autumn, about the wild lands, and strange visions of mountains that he had never seen came into his dreams… He looked at maps, and wondered what lay beyond their edges.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Change can be difficult, but sometimes it’s easier when combined with an external cue. The shifting of seasons is such an opportunity. Change is all around us this time of year: summer vacations ending, school years beginning, leaves changing colors, short sleeves exchanged for sweaters. 

In this atmosphere of transition, consider putting to practice a change you’ve been putting off. It doesn’t have to be big: one less cup of coffee in the morning, a five-minute exercise routine, or even finally taking that daytrip to see the autumn leaves that you always say you’d like to do.

It’s often easier to do something new with a partner, but that partner doesn’t have to be a person. Use the inevitable tide of change that’s occurring all around you this time of year as the motivation you need. Whenever you look out the window and see those golden leaves, let it be a reminder of the change you want to put into practice.

Note to readers: Each week, I share a fantasy quote and indulge my inner philosopher with a brief essay based on said quote. Share your favorite quote with me and I might feature it in a future newsletter! Email: dtkane@dtkane.com.

Photo: Greenway Trail, Southern Tier, NY (Photo Credit: D. T. Kane)