“It’s a gift if it makes us better. It’s a curse if we let it destroy us.”

― N.K. Jemisin, The Fifth Season

I was listening to the Legendarium podcast this week and their episode on N.K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season, Book 1 in her Broken Earth trilogy. (Incidentally, the Legendarium is an excellent podcast if you like taking deep dives into some of your favorite fantasy novels.) It’s a great book that I’ve read before, so I thought I’d feature a quote from it this week. 

So often, the way a thing makes us feel is dependent on the perspectival lens through which we decide to view it. It’s a Stoic maxim that only you can make yourself upset, or angry, or frustrated, or any other emotion. It isn’t your jerk co-worker, or friend, or spouse, who made you mad, but rather the way you decided to react to that person.

That isn’t to say emotions are bad. It’s only human to experience them. But just as we shouldn’t let children drive the school bus, we shouldn’t let our emotions dictate our mood and reactions.

Instead, embrace the idea that, while a certain statement, or event, or bit of news might initially make you feel a certain way, you don’t have to let it ruin your moment, or hour, or whole day. Instead, take a deep breath and realize you can choose your reaction. Look for the good in all that happens, or at least embrace that you can’t control the acts of others, and as such, choose not to let them control you.

Note to readers: Each week, I share a fantasy quote and indulge my inner philosopher with a brief essay based on said quote. Share your favorite quote with me and I might feature it in a future newsletter! Email: dtkane@dtkane.com.